Jehovah's Witnesses Straight Talk - Forum/Blog

Katie Buettner
Divorced a Malignant Narcissist Updated 1y

Why can't a lot of people identify a narcissist?

This is an unbelievably easy answer. It’s a very sick and sad answer, but easy. People don’t automatically identify the insidious nature that makes someone a Narcissist, because until you’ve had the extreme misfortune of dealing with one, no one can seriously believe that anyone is capable of their evil and irrational behavior. Human beings are taught to reason with others- to compromise. When an agreement cannot be reached, normal people simply agree to disagree, with the knowledge that everyone does not share the same viewpoint on everything.

Dealing with a Narcissist, defies all reason. They have created their own delusional world in which they live, and the rest of us are terrible and stupid for not staking a tent in their reality. It is difficult for someone who’s world (luckily) has not been devastated by these sickos, to believe anyone could be so self-righteous, devious, conniving, and just downright mean. They make you look, and feel like the crazy one, until you actually start to believe it. For example, you can’t tell a Narcissist, “Stop doing that. It is harmful to the children.” He doesn’t care. He will never see it as being harmful. He only sees it as protecting the children from their mother’s bad influence. Never mind the fact the the mom could be a candidate for sainthood. The kids are on his side, and they have been turned against the other parent. Mission accomplished in a narc’s world. No conscience. Zero remorse. Complete lack of ability to comprehend the effects of his words and actions.

When I say that no non-survivor believes you, I mean it! Courts, judges, counselors, family, and friends, will all just chalk it up to another case of a divorced couple who hates each other, putting their children in the middle. This has made me more angry than anything else. No is able to fathom it could be one-sided- that there is clearly one perpetrator, and a wake of his victims. The only way you can possibly prove it, is with paper evidence. These jerks are so slick at flying under the radar, that it’s the only way to show concrete proof. Unfortunately, gathering this kind of hard evidence requires patience. The narc won’t just hand things over to his perceived ‘greatest enemy,’ aka his ex. But, stick with him, and show you won’t back down, and he’ll get sloppy. Narcs always screw up because they don’t think it’s possible for them to be found guilty. Just remember that. You just have to bide your time, as aggravating as it will be.

Finally, everyone should educate themselves on how to spot these demons. We aren’t the only ones who have found ourselves in their snare. There is so much information out there. Apparently, those who have gone before us, didn’t want to gloss over such a horrific disorder. Know the signs and behaviors of someone with NPD. Once you understand more about the Narcissist, pass everything you learned on to everyone you know. Hopefully, at some point it will trickle down into mainstream society, so no more unsuspecting, lovely people have to endure these assholes. My mission is to make people so aware of these toxic individuals, that they run like hell whenever their hackles go up. I hope someday a narc approaching will bring on the same inherent fear, that some shady character makes you feel when passing him in the night. “Danger Will Robinson!” Let’s get the hell out of here!