Jehovah's Witnesses Straight Talk - Forum/Blog

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Karen Burke
·
March 31

I am a Narcissist
Why do narcissis ts make you feel like you are the toxic one?
Why do narcissists make you feel like you are the toxic one?

Because, in the narcissists' eyes, you are the toxic one. You are the abuser, and he or she is the victim. How can this be?

A narcissist does not own up to being an abuser unless they are self-aware and have been through therapy. I know that I NEVER saw myself as an abuser, I saw him as an abuser, and I told everyone that he was as well.

Narcissists developed defenses at a very young age. They had to learn how to cope with the abuse and neglect going on in their lives, so they used denial, distortion, projection, and splitting to deal with whatever was happening to them. They were never good enough, appreciated, accepted, loved, or cared for in the way a child needs to be cared for. Most were also going through some abuse or trauma. With me, it was years of sexual abuse that I barely remember because I blocked it out so well. I know one thing, though; it caused me to experience shame and humiliation, and those two things I cannot stand.

So, because narcissists never measured up, they created the false self, the awesome person. The one you meet at the beginning of the relationship. They will be the hero, but never the villain. To be seen as anything but good is not acceptable in a narcissist's eyes, so they do whatever they can to make others believe that they are the victim and the good one, and the partner is the abuser and the bad one.