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Amber Allison
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Mother is a covert, Father an overt, Ex also a covert.Updated December 30, 2019

What do narcissists do in relationships?

What do narcissists do in relationships…

They start out great. They give you their time, they listen to every word you speak. They are attentive and considerate. They make you feel like you are the most special person on the planet.

They spend their time getting to know everything about you. They want to do the things you do. They want to share your hobbies and they want to share your views on all of the important things.

They want to meet your friends and family and make a great impression because they know how important these people are to you.

They make an effort in a way nobody has ever done with you before.

They love you like nobody has ever loved you before.

They understand you in a way that nobody has ever understood you before.

And they appreciate you in a way that nobody has ever appreciated you before.

They are your soulmate.

They’ve got you hooked.

As with any relationship, things start to settle. You relax, you get comfortable.

Things are still so great, but you start to notice little things. You think certain things they say are odd or their behavior is out of character, but you know who they are. You know how they feel about you and you know how you feel about them. You are hooked.

And for 98% of the time things are great. You’ve found your soulmate. You’ve found the one.

You tell yourself that things happen different in this relationship because they are your soulmate.

This is where they play. They see how much room they have. They test you. They see how much you are willing to excuse.

They spend that 98% of the time being a real gem. They make you feel lucky that they picked you.

The other 2% of the time they give you the silent treatment because you only had white wine and not red to go with the dinner you made them. They trash your favorite movie that they original said was their favorite movie. They criticize an outfit that you chose to wear to a party.

But the other 98% of the time they bring you coffee in bed. They buy you something nice to wear to their parents house for a holiday party. They tell you how much they love you. They are game for spending time with all of your friends. They are your number 1 supporter for all of the goals you have.

But at some point those odd moments that you witness and experience start to happen more often. They become a little more noticeable.

That 2% becomes 30%.

They start to bail on plans you setup for the two of you. They stop responding to your texts in a timely manner. They stop spending all of their time with you. They no longer seem interested in your hobbies. They give you the silent treatment more often. They start insisting things of you. They don’t want you to talk to certain people. They want you to behave differently around other people.

But then they do something really sweet and thoughtful for you. They make you breakfast in bed. They are being the person you fell for again. They start talking about the future and how excited they are to spend that future with you.

And after a day, a week, a month, that 30% becomes 50%. And a day, a week, a month, a year, that 50% becomes 70%.

And now you just hope for those days where they don’t ignore you and the lives you built in that future they wanted to have with you.

You spend your days trying to get them to notice you. To love you like they did before.

They are your soulmate. Relationships take work, your soulmate deserves your best, so you give and you give, and you give until you have nothing left.

Update: Wow! Over 1k upvotes. Thanks for all of the upvotes to this answer everyone!