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Cami Li
Counselor, Golden Child To A Narc, NPD/BPD RelationshipsJuly 19
Do narcissists ever cut all ties, like just cut the supply out completely?
Oh yes, lol. If you are continuing to “attack” the false self-image (and asking the narcissist to give more of him/herself…time, emotional involvement, etc) with your pesky relationship grievances/concerns, he/she might just decide that you are too much.
Narcissists want “user-ships” solely on their terms (emotionally distant, only providing as much time as they want to provide, etc) and they fare better with those who do not advocate for what they need, those who simply accept things as they are.
Believe it or not, narcissists do not want to entirely lose their sources of supply, but they may eventually run from those who pursue (and continue to pursue) closeness. The narcissist wants your supply (attention, sex, emotional support, etc) from a safe emotional distance, lol.
If the narcissist has reason to believe that you are growing fed up with his/her bullshit, he/she may leave first (to save him/herself from the ultimate rejection). Being dumped (and rejected) is a nightmare in narc world, as this “confirms” the narcissist’s inadequacy (and deep down, narcissists tend to feel painfully inadequate).
Perhaps (on some level) narcissists wish that they were who they present themselves to be during the “love-bombing” stage, but most are either anxious or avoidant (or a mixture of the two) when it comes to true closeness/intimacy.
They are genuinely terrified of being exposed as imperfect, inadequate, etc…so they tend to view true closeness/emotional intimacy as a threat.
You may witness moments of vulnerability (after arguments, when things are not going well in his/her life, etc) as they really are quite insecure/vulnerable underneath the narcissistic facade…but they tend to push closeness away. It really does become a push/pull, and it is in your best interest to free yourself from the madness.