Jehovah's Witnesses Straight Talk - Forum/Blog

Its painful to move, just walking across the room can exhaust a person. Older people that have worked hard don’t want to ask for help they have been the givers all their lives.

They are losing all the good habits they spent a life time getting so they are losing their dignity inch at a time which make them angry at themselves. They are invisible and misunderstood when you have good health and are youthful you can’t understand, none of us can until you experience old age. Old people are constantly being uses taken advantage of even by there own families for money.

We have a beauty youthful society and old age is offense to most people they don’t want to look at it or understand it! What people spend a life time gaining old people are losing against their own will. To know how to do things right and not being able to do it is a form of torture. Commercialism lies about old age that way young people don’t have to think about taking care of elderly with real compassion

Alison Gothard
Partner at Tech Unbound (2011–present)Upvoted by
Clarke Edward
, M.A.T. Education, University of Toronto (1977) and
Yanni Dash

, Master of Education (MEd) Education, Howard University (2012)Author has 331 answers and 1.5M answer viewsUpdated 1y

My mother recently died at age 71, after several years in long-term care due to serious physical disabilities. She was a firecracker and a troublemaker! She needed lots of social interaction, people to trade dirty jokes with, people to give presents to and care for, and to feel loved.

Before she moved into this last nursing home, she often said that she missed hugs. People didn’t touch her because it could be misconstrued, and it was awkward to ask for hugs.

However, the last place she lived was amazing. The staff truly loved her. They hugged her, brushed her hair, painted her nails, talked and laughed with her. When she was dying, staff that weren’t on shift actually came in to say goodbye to her, and they were even calling in people who didn’t work there any more to give them a chance to see her. It was very touching, and we all laughed and cried together.

My dad died of cancer twelve years ago, shortly after his 70th birthday. He wasn’t ready to die, but he felt his time was coming. He kept talking about things he missed from back in England, as he had been in Canada for 40 years. Anything he mentioned, I went out and bought for him or made for him. Stowford cider and perry, Harvey’s Bristol Cream Sherry, Yorkshire puddings, mushy peas, anything he wanted. He also wanted to be able to tell us things, stories from the past that perhaps he’d never gotten around to telling, or that he wanted to tell again. He loved building and flying model airplanes, and although he wasn’t well enough to fly at that point, my mom drove him up to an event with his flying club so he could enjoy a day out. His friends came over and shook his hand and wished him well, and they were shocked at how frail he was. That was about three weeks before he died.

The big things are to take time with that person, let them know they’re loved in whatever way is meaningful to them and to you. Ask them questions about their life, show them old and new photos, bring pets to visit them, and bring them food and drink that makes them happy. Ask if they want to be hugged, or hold hands, or any other kind of touch that is comforting to them. If they are able to go out, invite them to movies and concerts and plays that they might enjoy. If they can’t go out, stay in and watch a movie with them if they want to. Just let them know that you care and that they matter to you.

Edit: Thank you so much everyone for your positive comments! I’m glad you find my reply helpful, and hope it inspires kindness in others.

I would like to say that it is important to discuss end of life wishes with your loved ones even if that is not in the forseeable future. Let everyone know what kind of life you would like to live, what treatments you would be willing to have, and also what you would like done after you die, such as organ donation, aquamation, burial, etc.). Caitlyn Doughty (Ask A Mortician on YouTube) speaks a lot about end of life planning and how to make talk of death and dying more open in our society, and recommends things you should discuss with your family so everyone knows your wishes whether you die young or old. I personally have stage 4 breast cancer and I’m 42, and currently it’s kept in check thanks to immunotherapy. However, I have thought a lot about what I want my legacy to be and even how I want my funeral to go. I want people to laugh through their tears, and to give love to one another when I’m no longer around to do it for them. And I have ordered my family to hand out “funeral kazoos” after I saw them as a joke online! They will remind everyone that there is always room for joy, even when life is at its hardest.

Stephen Shoemate
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Retired from large-current power supply repair3y
Why is a broken hip so serious for an aging senior? Why are some seniors never the same?
My dad broke his hip, and only lasted about 6 months. He'd never experienced pain like that, and then didn't want to do his rehab exercises. You can't force them, you know, so he rapidly deteriorated.

His dad broke a hip, lay outside all night, and was getting over it, until my aunt dropped him, helping him out of bed. She could have handled him, but wasn't of the mindset that women can actually move things like furniture and stuff like that. He was afraid to get up, unless there was a man to help. He was a day from his 91st birthday, when he passed away, after 1 1/2 years abed, and mentally sharp the first year. He was a smart guy, though not highly educated. During the Great Depression, he was a milkman, so there was milk, chese, and butter, plus they had chickens and other animals. I visited him regularly, and got him to tell about what they did as kids; he was born in 1900. It was fascinating. Then, one time, when my aunt was in the room, he said that when he was on his feet again, he was going to buy some marijuana. He wanted to see what it was like. My aunt was horrified, and exclaimed “Daddy, that stuff is bad for you!” His retort was great. “I'm 90 years old. What's it going to do? Stunt my growth?”

Heidi Gray
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Dementia Caregiver (2016–present)3y
Why is being a broke senior citizen worse than any other time of life?
Being a broke senior citizens is the worst time in your life because people don't give a damn about old folks. Once you hit about 50 years of age, all the other generations see you as old.

If you are young and you have children the American government will trip over themselves to make sure that you have all kinds of freebies such as free food, free clothes ,Free housing , free ,free ,free and you can move in your worthless unemployed drug-dealing boyfriend too. It's the American dream!

Once you get old you don't even know who to call for help. There are elderly who don't know how to use a cell phone and maybe they don't even get a phone book anymore. They don't know who to call for help. No one takes them seriously. I remember when I called adult services to come and visit my parents because they were not taking proper care of themselves. These women told my parents they could eat leftovers that were as old as 3 weeks! Like I said no one gives a damn when you get old.

Every city should have a department that follows up on people once they become 65 or older. We do not have a generation of families that watch out for their parents and older loved ones. Even though I'm not a fan of Hillary Clinton she did mention that it takes a village to raise a child. I don't agree with that because I wouldn't want my village raising my child but I would certainly want my village to help watch over my elderly parents.

I am working on setting myself up for old age. I am 54 with no retirement or pension. I needed every penny I had to keep a roof over my children's heads. When the time comes I will purchase a mobile home and that way I will always have a roof over my head even if the damn thing doesn't run. That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.

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John Harper
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B.A in Mathematics, University of California, Los AngelesUpdated 8mo
My mom (age 62) sits in the house all day and watches TV. How do I explain to her this isn’t healthy for someone her age?

As someone of a similar age, I can answer you several ways.

if her bills are paid, and the house is clean, and she’s not depressed, MYOB. She’s earned the right to do nothing. I would love to spend my days watching Mannix and Rat Patrol reruns. But I can’t. Lucky mom.
if she is depressed, then tell her (don’t ask her) that you and she are going to lunch. Pay for the meal. Talk about her. Maybe she’s grieving. Maybe her friends are slowly dying. Maybe YOU haven’t gotten as far as she would have liked you to get, and she blames herself.
There is the possibility that she is dying, and feels she has no one to talk to.

I’m hoping that it’s #1. while I agree with you, in theory, that it’s not healthy to stay indoors all the time regardless of age, your mom is an adult. She is living her own life.

ETA: I am not the OP. I am disabling the comments because I’m not the OP.